How To Not Ride

Leave work late because you got in late because one of your precious, darling ponies needed dental work and the vet was late this morning.

Remember that your dressage saddle is locked in the trailer. The key to the trailer is with the truck keys and the truck is at the shop and the shop is now closed because it's late.

Decide you'll ride in your jumping saddle.

Remember your jumping saddle is at home from when you were cleaning it before the show you didn't go to.

Stop at home and get the saddle and realize as you're picking it up that it has no stirrups because they're on your dressage saddle.

Tell yourself once again that you need another set of stirrups even if your husband thinks you have enough.

Grit your teeth and decide you'll ride in your other horse's saddle even though it doesn't really fit your mule.

Drive half way to the barn and realize your dressage bridle is in the other car (which you took to the barn yesterday but forgot to take the bridle out of).

Drive back to the house.

Grab the bridle and finally make it to the barn.

Get to the barn and realize your vest is locked in the trailer. Which you cannot get into.

Realize the universe is conspiring against you and go home.